RESILIENCE

When tragedy strikes, some people are devastated, unable to summon their coping mechanisms, they fall into deep depression or despondency, sometimes losing hope and even the will to carry on. They may become entirely preoccupied with the disaster and suffer nightmares, flashbacks, and anxiety attacks. Other people, however, react differently. They seem to manage not only the normal ups and downs of their lives, but also potentially overwhelming losses and traumas. Instead of becoming depressed and unable to cope, somehow they are able to deal with painful circumstances and move on.

The difference between the people that are so deeply affected, and others that are seemingly able to “bounce back,” is resilience. Resilience is not a quality inherent within a person, but one that builds through a natural process.  “Alone, a child has no resilience… it is an interaction, a relationship.” We build resilience from developing relationships. 

We are constantly “knitting” ourselves from people and situations that we encounter, through the words we exchange and the feelings that arise. We might feel that if one “stitch” is dropped, our lives will unravel. In fact, “if just one stitch holds, we can start all over again.”

Positive emotions and humor are key factors in resilience.  Research has shown that people who are better able to cope with life’s difficulties or traumas are able to find meaning in hardship, seeing it as a useful and enlightening experience, and even to find ways to laugh. Resilient people always remain able to see how things may turn out for the better in future, even if the present is painful, they're simply Antifragile. Resilience is an habit/character, you can cultivate it too.